OK, folks. This is a tough one for me to post, and it is WAY too late to put it together. But it's something I thought of today.

I post this just as a way of venting. If I'd thought of it a week earlier, I might be serious, but since I already have plans tomorrow, and since it's short-notice, it's just a rant.

Back in October, my 13-year-old stepson went to a friend's house to spend the night. We thought we'd done everything right. We checked out mom and met her. Saw the inside of the house. Even had the friend spend the night at our house a few days before.

But during that sleepover at this other home, the friend (We'll call him S) molested my stepson while he slept. My stepson (I'll call him K) woke up several times to find the kid doing sexually inappropriate things. He panicked and didn't say anything. He pushed him away, moved away, and pretended to sleep, but he was too scared to do anything more than that. It was six hours of pure hell for him until the sun came up and he called mom to come home.

We reported it to the police. It took them a week to formally interview K, and when they did, they told us that because he never actually said NO or STOP or something like that, it could be considered consensual. And even if he had, the MOST they could get S on was misdemeanor unlawful sexual contact. Had S been an adult, or if it had been boy on girl, it would have been different. But it wasn't.

During this week, S called K's cellphone and our home almost 40 times. Finally, K answered and S told him they were moving to Arizona on 1 DEC.

The police took ANOTHER week to even contact the other family. When they did, the family lawyered up and refused to let S talk to the cops. MOm informed the cops that they were now leaving the state 17 NOV and would not be back.

Yesterday, more than a month after this happened, the Assistant D.A. dropped all charges. She said that the fact that K never said no and the fact that the kid was leaving the state made it not worth filing charges. BTW -- Colorado Law specifically states that saying no is not necessary for a sex crime to have been committed. Pushing away, resisting, moving away -- ALL are considered as good as saying no. And the fact that K was asleep means he didn't have the chance to resist, making it a crime. But the system is too backlogged with cases to care.

K is in counseling to deal with the anger, sadness, and mistrust this has caused. We've had a rough, difficult month. And now the little bastard gets to drive away scot f-ing free.

So last night I thought, "We should surround their car and moving van with 15-20 Mazdas, all bearing MOLESTOR ESCORT signs, and follow them until they're out of Colorado." Imagine the message THAT would have sent the family. And my stepson. That would have rocked.

Like I said, if I'd thought of it last week, I might be serious about it. As it is, we'll stay busy tomorrow and try not to think of the little shitbag slinking off to Arizona, where he can do this again to someone else. I have no doubt you guys would have been onboard for it, so thanks for what I know you WOULD have done had I thought of it in time.

I'm In. could even put a neon sign on my car.

That's very disturbing. Why would they just drop all charges. If you had thought of it a few days sooner I would have borrowed my bros diesle and plow and when they got to the the border ram their moving truck and tip it over. They think that if they move away it won't happen again. How stupid. That kid is going to grow up and become a child molester. I don't know what to say about it other than I'm sorry for what you guys are going through.

Quick edit. Just because the kid is moving isn't a valid enough reason for charges to be dropped, IMO. Maybe if the kid got hit by a truck and ka-put. Then that's a valid reason.

Wow, that is very disturbing and there is something seriously wrong with S. It's just great that we have parents in this world like S' that would rather run away from the situation then have their kid get mental help.
So sorry that you guys have had to go through with this, I know it's expensive, but you might want to look into a lawyer. I believe they can still go after that family even if they are out of state. I know it won't make everything right, but it might help with the healing process some.

Hope things get better in the future for your family, and if you want we can take a road trip to AZ......

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (CeXy7 @ Nov 16 2007, 08:18 PM) [url=index.php?act=findpost&pid=11157]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/url]</div>

Wow, that is very disturbing and there is something seriously wrong with S. It's just great that we have parents in this world like S' that would rather run away from the situation then have their kid get mental help.
So sorry that you guys have had to go through with this, I know it's expensive, but you might want to look into a lawyer. I believe they can still go after that family even if they are out of state. I know it won't make everything right, but it might help with the healing process some.

Hope things get better in the future for your family, and if you want we can take a road trip to AZ......[/b]

Road trip to AZ. I'm in. I took one with my bro for Deisils in the Desert there in September (Laborday weekend, i think thats september) We did the trip there and back in less than 2 days. There is this great side-highway in AZ we can take on the way back after the damage is done that is filled with twisties. I thought we were giong to go off the edge of the mountain on some of them. It was like 2 A.M. when we went through that part.

i'm sorry that happened to your family. and on that cruise hell if i was running i would be up for it hell i have a loud speaker, hell escort them while yelling "CO MO"....lol

Thanks for the support, guys. Recce run against their house at ten tonight showed them STILL packing the truck to leave tomorrow. THey're high-tailing it out of town FAST. I hope they never, ever return.

Looking back, we have a LOT of lessons-learned on this one. I just wish we'd learned them before my stepson got hurt.

It's a pretty mental image, though -- all these Mazdas boxing them in and making SURE they cross the border and don't look back. Made my stepson laugh, too.

Its to bad we cant do this for him. Sorry to hear that happened and the little shit is getting away with it.

If the cops won't do anything, take it to covil court. They don't have to be in the district, you just have to file the suit in the location of the grievance, or something like that. If they won't take this seriously, make sure they never have the means to afford anything every again. These are the situations that tort law were built for, it would be nice to finally see a case that deserves litigation. I'm sure there are enough lawyers out there that could take the case pro bono too.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (bobopud @ Nov 17 2007, 08:25 AM) [url=index.php?act=findpost&pid=11190]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/url]</div>

If the cops won't do anything, take it to covil court. They don't have to be in the district, you just have to file the suit in the location of the grievance, or something like that. If they won't take this seriously, make sure they never have the means to afford anything every again. These are the situations that tort law were built for, it would be nice to finally see a case that deserves litigation. I'm sure there are enough lawyers out there that could take the case pro bono too.[/b]

We're considering that option, but have to balance it with the potential attorney's fees and the public nature of such proceedings. That could affect my stepson severely.

I am so sorry to hear what has happened. I know I would like to say that if that happened to one of my daughters, I would happily go to jail for some retribution...but the reality is, you will want to just move on and get on with your life, start the healing process. The last thing he needs (as you have said) is publicity that could potentially harm him mentally and socially.

Start the healing process as soon as you can...we're here if you need anything.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Lightnin McQueen @ Nov 17 2007, 09:19 AM) [url=index.php?act=findpost&pid=11195]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/url]</div>

I am so sorry to hear what has happened. I know I would like to say that if that happened to one of my daughters, I would happily go to jail for some retribution...but the reality is, you will want to just move on and get on with your life, start the healing process. The last thing he needs (as you have said) is publicity that could potentially harm him mentally and socially.

Start the healing process as soon as you can...we're here if you need anything.[/b]

One of the issues we've faced is that we WANT retribution, but the offender is a kid, too. And I couldn't make myself harm a kid. He needs help and accountability, and he will likely get neither.

I am very sorry to hear about this situation, 13 is hard enough before something like this. If a CMZC escort is needed I am in, I just don't want to make the situation worse.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (6i_guy @ Nov 17 2007, 10:27 AM) [url=index.php?act=findpost&pid=11208]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/url]</div>

I am very sorry to hear about this situation, 13 is hard enough before something like this. If a CMZC escort is needed I am in, I just don't want to make the situation worse.[/b]

Agreed. No reason to make things worse. As tempting as it is to send a message, I think it's best to let him slither off and live under some rock in Arizona.

I am sorry that your step son and your family have to deal with this horrible incident. As these are usually complex situations with multiple layers of issues and lots of confusion from numerous parties involved at various levels- no simple reply I can give can really help.

However, I am willing to offer some phone support/assistance if you want. I am not an expert, nor do I give legal advice, but I am well versed in dealing with these situations and may be able to assist you and your family with some difficult questions you might be facing.

Criminal court Vs. Civil court, the Cops vs. the District attorneys and why their decisions at times doesn't make sense as well as some thoughts on the rebuilding process.

I'll PM you with my cell phone number, please feel free to call anytime- I probably won't pick up if I don't know the number, but leave a message and I'll get back to you.

Scott